Going Back To Innocence

I’m home... in Moldova.

It’s dark outside. Grapes on my table. Cozy brown sofa and a cup of black Tea. John Lennon and time for blogging. The Sunday will be gone in less than two hours. My parents are out and my sister left to her college city already. I missed this serenity, but somehow it’s not SO patent as before.

Yet, I needed the ice cream brought by mom when coming back from work, I needed the grilled mici made by dad, I needed the early morning laughter with my sister…
Things can be so simple, you’ve told me.

In Moldova... I’m home.

Nasc si la Moldova oameni. Neculce se indoia de neamul asta inca de pe atunci?... cum adica “si la Moldova”??? Sa-mi lamureasca cineva.

When Gucci Doesn't Help

Miles&Smiles... am zis si-am facut.

... my orange juice is healthy, served in a plastic glass with a green, thick straw.
... my coffee is bigger, stronger in a white paper cup...
but tasteless somehow.

... between Europe and Asia...
between yesterday and tomorrow ... somehow I'm lost.

Airport Starbucks Coffee shop relfection... Alone. Very alone.

PS. Pour les connoisseurs.

The Marathon Against Myself.

3 km run in the middle of Gulf's desert are enough to know you're not alone in this world. Glorious 22 mins for my blazed muscles. Together with my friends (95% AIESECers) I ran the marathon on October, 31st ... and we all did it for charity... "It's about the experience... " they kept saying...
I experienced gratitude again - for having people who are taking care of me & for having a healthy body (as healthy it ca be with 2 gym hours/ week and lots of shawormas. ouch.)

A long road back home... is waiting for me. A decaf.

I've Been Here Before.

19 mins since the 1st tic...

... lost, looking around, seeking for someone... and what now?! What is going to happen? A dead echo.

What is after this second? Pause. I hear nothing... I don't get it and don't understand what is happening. I wait for a sign. I want the answer I've been promised I'll get.

But wait, I've been here before!

Or... that's the answer?!... Nimic cu nimic, "pentru ca merit"...

...and tac never came.

NU uita cuvintele.

Lipseste scriptul. Adica.. si cortina?! Sa cada, la naiba! Nu-i clar ca am uitat cuvintele?!
Si iata scena cand ne invinuim parintii pentru ceea ce suntem si plaiul natal - pentru ceea ce nu vom fi nicicand.

Eu nu mai cred in potential. Si nici in vointa. M-am decis. Cred ca fiecare joaca un rol pe care el insusi si-l alege si ceea ce conteaza e abilitatea de a NU uita cuvintele!!! Si daca tie ti-e bine asa - de ce sa fie altfel?

Dar eu nu mai inteleg nimic - nu trebuia sa fie un script pana la urma?...

Ah! si naivitatea - se da degeaba la taraba mea. Daca ochelarii de soare ar putea vorbi si lifturile ar avea urechi - lumea ar fi mai frumoasa si povestile de dragoste mai adevarate. Si din asta cum mai ies acum?


The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world (w)oohoorld

New.

I need to clean my house. I need to throw away the garbage, to bring flowers on my table and to brush away the dust from my old library.

Tonight the world begins again.

Heart Disorders

Whenever my heart twinges me I get back to my mom's lap. I stare at the damn phone and listen Steven Johnson on the Web as a city. So what? Lebanese newspaper writes that Moldovan chix are too hot to stay at home and seee? That's why I'm nowhere.

Because I don't have the guts. Do they sell Guts in a cold store? Umm.. even if they would - US money reached a wrong bank account, therefore not mine.

That's why there are "7th of November" days - to go home and get back to mom's lap .... and this time it won't be just a happy song away.

Ты - не ждешь, но я - вернусь

It has to be like this, thus NO. But look at my people - between two eras they can make it. Why cant I make it? Svetlana Toma is drop dead beautiful and Sofia Rotaru is damn talented.

PS. Only if I could sign an MoU with God.

What Made My Day

Lebanon is preparing the ground for a new war with Israel - a food war - and it is all about hummus

Source: Sky News

PS. This article made my day. New obsession from Amr Diab - Allah La Yehremni Menak.
When enough is enough?!

News Roundup

* In the first day of Eid I remembered how much I enjoy sea side and yes, Bahrain is surrounded by sea. Bahrain Ford. I've seen it with my own eyes, I swear. After 3 months?! Shame on me?! Wait, no, blame the weather.. Wait, wait.. blame the car. Darn. Guilty of charge.

* I cant live in luxurious places. As much as I love the view on the top of a 12 floors building, in Amwaj, I know I can't live in a place where you have all gym facilities, swimming pool, sauna, jacuzzi and all of that sort. I feel guilty for having all that, knowing that 35000 children die every day because of poverty.

* Yey for AIESEC! The most "napolitane la 2 dimineata cu Nadia" organisation ever. I haven't loose my drive and my paternal instinct - my motivation is SO much there! En garde, Leadership Team! Let's build the Kingdom! (pour les connaisseurs).

* I still can tolerate and leave aside my pride to make things work. A door to door conversation which made me cry, smile and felt just awesome - it's called communication and expectations setting for roomies.

* I did not do any sport since I came back from Brazil. Good to me. Was I talking about a financial crisis few posts ago? I'm still into one, but it's all about Bahrain, cool people and a lazy Lumi. Baskin Robbins on a cauch?! No, I do not loose weight when I'm stressed. Just hair.

* The roof became my new cherry tree. I felt ashamed of feeling alone when it wasn't the case at all, but I know that September is the month. ... Sandra knows. Doing an MC term abroad?! or one year long international internship?! You know it too.

* I can't bluff my way out. It's just too awesome. But somehow, it works like this - you give with one hand and take with the other one. A perfect equilibrium. My face still doesn't go red and I don't stammer - because I do not lie. Forbidding me to wear skirts and shorts does not make me more appreciated and respected. Lumi's expiration date: 4th of November.

* Praying seems like something I don't know to do anymore, sort of a one sided conversation in which I give up after one minute. But why?! I badly have to go to church.

Windy times, mingled hair, flowers on my dress and no make up!

AIESEC Bahrain is LEGAL!

Tonight I understood better what my mission should be for AIESEC Bahrain 0809 term… Believe it or not, I was pretty clueless when I arrived here 3 months ago. I tried to pitch myself in as fast as possible, but along the way, I still felt short in many ways - sometimes, just not knowing who that is… Al Sheikha, who's ministry is what, why not here, but there... Even small, the cultural differences didn't bypass me...I had to accept the fact that it doesn’t really work as I thought it will or every so often, trying to realize “how did I skip all that?”

LEGALIZATION means nothing without the glittering in their eyes, without their excitement and future commitment. Without their green. I know we do not live intensively our AIESEC experiences, there is much more we could do… I know that we do not deliver at the fullest capacity to make the impact we want to make. But there is a sparkle in each and every one of them and it is my SOLE role to bring them TOGETHER to build that Kingdom and I know I can do that. Why?! Because I WANT it.

A Gtalk message, a hug, a Camilles cookie or just a thoughtful look… and it’s enough to get it all. Now that I know… what else is there?!!...

Without Alcohol And Colorants

It's something with this word. It is on Andreea's blog. It reminds me of Letzu and pops up my google search for MBA.

2 dictionary results for: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English - Cite This Source - Share This

Main Entry:	supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Part of Speech:	adj
Definition:	a nonsense word meaning fantastic; also called supercalifragilistic
Etymology:	popularized by the movie 'Mary Poppins'

Experiencing Ramadan

Exactly 21 days since I have start fasting. No food, no water from morning till iftar (which is like from 4am till 5:30ish pm). The days seam longer when you work and don't eat and drink, but somehow you learn to appreciate much more "the normality". You "learn" the taste of water, you "learn" the price of food, you "learn" to seize the time and to connect more with yourself and God - it develops a consciousness of being a better person, somehow.

When iftar comes, each family on this island celebrates and breaks the fast together. Dates, rice, sambousa, goat or chicken meat, fruits and sweets come as a bless. I don't really eat with my hands and I still don't use ya3ni, but I feel somehow, I'm becoming a Bahraini.. or if I'm not - I want to become as one. The people I'm surrounded by thought me what care is and I'm SO much thankful to that! (Who needs US when I have a financial crise of my own?!)

Something Else Than Work

Things I did today:

- paid a visit to the Ministry of Social Development
- bought Gulf News papers
- recharged my phone
- red "I have a dream" speech
- removed couple of people from my facebook account
- listened Clandestino
- went to Tima's place for iftar
- met my coachee
- received a giraffe from a charity event
- ... found out that actually my hair is death

How many roads must I walk down before I admit that I'm lost?

Autosaved Insight.

I'm in need to connect much more with my roots, with my country, with my family...
I miss Moldova badly and I can scream loudly after 9 years of roaming through the world - yey for science's randomness! I miss my family Sundays, my green, blue and yellow all together, the rain, my move T-shirt, my bike, my dad singing and the cool of the evening light.
All these things... and still, the best things in life aren't things.
Bless Clandestino!!! It made my day!!!

PS. Lumi is never fake. Not even when needed. In conclusion, I need a car.

It's All About The Magnifying Glass

After a long day of fasting, my body screams for some exercises and good food. I had for iftar (breakfast) delicious cookies and mini pizza, manaish b zataar, etc. By the way, I fast and I'm pretty proud of the fact that I have managed to stay away from all my vices since Ramadan begun.

Bahrain and the whole Arab world is in holiday - you can feel the difference - a good time for spiritual purification achieved through fasting, self-sacrifice and prayers. People are more welcoming and good food is in every house we're invited to, after magrhib (sunset) prayer. I believe that whoever witnesses the month of Ramadan should fast through it, even if he/she is not a Muslim. It's a special schooling your soul and body goes through and ... I SO much need it. Some people might know why.

One cup of cappuccino, my laptop and an orange room - it's all I need to start my weekend work. I thought I prefer to be left alone, since I'm pretty much of an intrinsic person when comes up to my work, but I ended up without a NO... and with a curious and analytic Tima for a solid-liquid conversation. After ă, î, ț and centimetres, I figured out - it's all about the magnifying glass.

One Faces.

If there is one thing which I hate about people this is the fake'ness. I'm a player and an ignorant - you might not guess me, but I do figure who you are and how you are. I never said that the world is divided between good guys and bad guys. You might be awesome, but if you tricked me once, then you lost me. And if you lost me, there is nothing to get me back, even if i forget and forgive and no matter how much I want to be back. You might not be a bad person, but you just met me.

PS. And if you don't get the message behind this post, don't worry - it is for me.
Lots of stars dust and true people!

5 Hours After 5 Years

"Hey, let me know at what time you are going to the airport. I wanna come. Lov u" One of the messages I have received from my members tonight. I'm heading to Brazil in less than 5 hours... How rewarding this feeling can be... 5 years in AIESEC - an organisation that changed me to the core and defined the person I am.
We can be jagguars as well... not just hamsters.

Race In A Cage

Few posts ago, I was mentioning that everything that happens to you - happens for a reason. And it's 100% tested! You won't get the lesson right'away but later on, you will click it. That's how things work. There is no other way, (un)fortunately (still didn't decide if this is good or bad).

... the story begun in Bahrain. After being pranked by my members, after moving to my orange room, after meeting new faces in meetings, bla bla bla... I got a hamster! Yes, a hamster!!! Those who know me - they know that I will freak out when it's about taking care of a hamster or any little thing that looks like a mouse. So, while the present was handed to me I have found the little creature more like a future trouble, rather than a joy.

The thing is that somehow I've started loving this little brute - she eats what I eat, wakes up when I wake up and does not mind me talking to her when I cook. She got her little space in the kitchen, near the window and she doens't look that depressed.

When I went to kitchen to get my cream from the fridge, I turned my head to check how she is - rolling in her little pink wheel, she seamed as always - a dirty happy creature! And ...it clicked me! She was running, running, running... making all that noise and effort, but without no destination... she was in a cage!

You cant race in a cage! Or you can - but it will take you exactly where you already are. You have to break the cage in fact if you really want to face a new destination, a new YOU. You have to leave behind your limits, your borders. Yes! Yes! So simple things....are put in front of me... everyday, but I just don't see them!

With this thought in my mind, I went upstairs to the gym. Fixed my mini radio and I jumped on the tread mill. Pressed the warming button, started walking... while facing the big window, seing a walking Lumi reflected in the glass... While glimpsing far away to Manama's streets after the sunset, enjoying the urban soundtrack... It hit me again!!!

You might walk, you might even run - but you might reach no destination, if you don't break your own limits - your own fears and face the Unknown.

I'm sitting here, in my own cage, running on my own pink wheel and I know your face.... from somewhere. Yes, I do know your face... I just don't know who you are.

I Know What Is Happiness To me

You will not enjoy your life and its gifts if you wont get rid of your secrets... If there are secrets, there is no inner peace. If there is no inner peace, there is no happiness.

If you hide something is because it's wrong.
If it's wrong for others, but not wrong for you... then it's wrong anyway.
If it's wrong for your, but not wrong for others... then it's wrong anyway.
Hiding ...for you or for others - it's wrong!

If you stay true to yourself and walk your talk, you might suffer, but in the end - it's the right thing to do, therefore you you will be happy. Happiness comes ONLY when you stay true to yourself. ONLY.

Song Of The Day - Shine/ Bond