May 23, 2008

One Year in Kyrgyzstan is Gone


They say that experience is what you make out of every moment and it's up to you 100 % of how this is going to feel like, remembered at the end of your life. I will agree with that. One year in Kyrgyzstan is gone and i'm very grateful to things that happened to me. There are faces engraved in my heart till the end of my days and those who has to know it - know it. I feel that I have made a difference in these individuals and how often a person can get that?

But I haven't found what I was looking for myself, for Lumi and no one else - I haven't answered to my question. Perhaps, the shake wasn't strong enough for me to let it out and I was too lonely to some extent. Nevertheless, it was my happy-by-choice from the very beginning till the end. I don't blame the circumstances, I blame my lack of patience to fix things and till the end of the day - you never know if things require renovation or it's me going against the system and I'm just too different for the climate. Nobody told me.

For sure this year defined me, but it wasn't a so-well-known "life changing experience". Who said it should have been?! They said. Maybe I just forgot that I live on my own (almost) since I was 14. Got in my pocked the wrong expectations regarding this. I'm not waiting for a revolution anymore. Wish I was able to make this sound less awful.

What I'm going to take with me is something which I might never know how big or small it is - the difference I made into their life, if I made one. I will be waiting for their mails even if they will be writing to me or not. I will be waiting to know one day how big they grew, who they became, what are their realisations and what keeps them on going.

PS. Perhaps, the answer to my question will come later, when i'll be checking my mail.

8 comments:

Асель said...

We'll definitely miss you! Is Bahrein a hospitable place? We can visit you there :)

Luminita said...

hehe, it ought be. check up the movie above! found it today - love it :)

Unknown said...

Hey RRRoMANIA bu sure taht i will miss you bapedont leave us

Luminita said...

Rashidovich, i'm going to miss you all! :) Good luck with your internship, man!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lumi,

You are unique and never forget about it.

wait your party::)

aynura

Luminita said...

Ainura lovely like always :) Got KG in my heart and the little frame you have me will always remind me about this year :)
Rahmat ;)

Azamat said...

I have been reading all the articles you wrote on your Personel Blog since I have finished my beakfast today. You know, it is very bad to eat alone, when there is nobody, with whom you may share the little slice of bread, I prefer eating in a group, whether it is your friends or family.I enjoyed reading, and think that this past 3 hours were not spent in vain.
You was writing that the one year experience in KG was not Life Changing, I am sorry, I think that it was. Because, you made great changes in our lifes, in the life of fresh @cers. I want to say my great thanks to you, since you made me belive in my own strength, ability and anything else. I became more strong and realistic,although sometimes I put as my goal the things which can not be realized.But I strongly beleive that those unrealizable wishes make me continue my life and strugle to win this life. I started to know the value of every minute of my life, and try to spend it with use. I have put my obvious plans for the following year, after those Setting Goals lectures. I have realized the values of my life,why I am in this world.But, still searching the vision of mine( sorry, we were to find it right after the Rise Up conference).I am grateful for Almighty Allah, that he met me to you and @ in general. Every day in the morning the first thing I listen and watch is the film "VIDA". I used to be angry for myself, sometimes, when I was not able to succeed, someone else was more succesful than me, but I have learned that success is never blamed. As it was said in VIDA, "Sometimes you are ahead, sometimes you are behind", and I firmly beleive in it. The only thing I need to do is to learn from my mistakes, and to work more hard on my weaknesses. I can not imagine @ in KG without you.But beleive that you have trained enough people who will handle it and make it better than it was. I do not know how @ was before we applied, but beleive that you made it better, for you gave the part of your heart to improve it. Thanks, thank you.

Nelly Lepesova said...

My dear!One of the reasons to join @ was my encounter with u in our university. At the very first moment I have felt a nice warm feeling from you, I guess it was your sincerity:) And I thought what a pleasant person, so maybe there are many people like her in @; therefore, u are having me as ur member and iam so happy to join such a wonderful bunch of people.
I am thankful to you for being a good example of an AIESECER, for being sincere and lovely. Believe me , I will never forget you. May Allah always lead you on your Path!