May 30, 2009

Reality I Waste My Time On

Breeze and water drops mingling in my hair - Amuaj Islands trip by boat -Watching Flemings on the shore - Momente de cucoana si de spa la Ritz - Driving in Juffair in the middle of the night - Spring of Cultures festival with friends - Spanish music at the Arad Fort - 20 mins cu fite la Televizor - Collide with Nada - Infinity with Rehman - Hours of flights over deserts and waters - Just Like Heaven, The Cure on the top of the roof - Saggesse vs Riady (Arab world cup basketball finals)- Watermelon for breakfast at 6 AM - Big Bang Orchestra and patriotic goose bumps - Cedars and mountains car trip - IRINA - Esperanza Fernandez flamenco live concert - Igor Cobileanski (Moldovan movie director) - Bought 2 books by D.Goleman, one by B.Russell and one by C.Dickens - Red 7 more - Made Letzu shade a tear...

Overlook the fact that I got no VISA yet, that I have no job secured after AIESEC, that I lost my iPod, that I got into a car accident, that I rent a house I don't live in and… that the music is no good without you.

This too will pass.

May 29, 2009

It's not Like Flipping Coins

One month. One month of hungry expectations, of Want’s and Must’s, of Let’s Make it Happen. Today I got an e-mail… sort of “nu grai mult sh-ai sa canti.”

Managing a team that should deliver 2 events, dealing with hundreds of students and top companies, a strategic conference ahead…

And that’s when I realize once again how fragile AIESEC is. For a global organization with over 60 years of experience, with over 36,000 members and high caliber companies as partners, any outsiders will tend to believe that we’re smart enough to take care of our members.

Expansion countries are fragile and I can tell from my two years of experience. You never know who is going to take care of u. The love supply from members, the inner drive and personal ambitions can easily fade during such moments. Sometimes it’s just not enough.

How many times did we, actually, brought to the table during our global summits the VISA issue for our internationals MCs? With the same strength we manage to bring under one roof young people of 100 nationalities in Turkey, Brazil or Malaysia, we should be able to simple do-something for ensuring BASIC safety for our volunteers that working abroad.

I’m responsible for my choices and I was mentally prepared to take it all, with… whatever. But, as an organization, we’re on our half way through - there are almost 90 more countries to go. Too many stories. Isn’t the right time to reflect, conclude and improve?

*AIESEC is the international youth leadership development organization giving young people opportunities to develop their professional skills by running the management functions of the organization.

... and I say this because...

Since 4 years, I’m awarding myself with opportunities thus, at the age of 24, I've been to more than 10 countries, visited 4 continents, making friends all over the world - building a huge network of people that have similar passions, interests and people that want to make difference in their own life and the lives of others.

For the past two years, AIESEC has given me the chance to work in a multicultural team managing one of the most prominent youth organizations. Last year I have been working in Central Asia, opening a new AIESEC chapter in Kyrgyzstan. On a daily basis, my work in a diverse environment required strong work ethics and ability to promptly adapt to various cultural differences and working styles.

In my current role, as a president of AIESEC in Bahrain, I practice cooperation with diverse portfolio of companies; I meet CEOs and lead 7 generations of members, who keep challenging and inspiring me for 9 months now. Nevertheless, my experience is also tied to being a team player and making the most of professional relationships. In all these lessons, I'm the apprentice. Yet, according to my job description, I'm supposed to be the master.

There is no other experience which could guarantee so much learning and entrepreneurial attitude at the age of 24.

One month left... for the grand finale, as my predecessor used to call it, and i'm not in the country. What else is there to say?...

May 28, 2009

Libraries, Afternoons and Doga

I made a new habit of spending my afternoons in Assabil, the minuscule library, 5 minutes walk from the place I stay. The street that takes me there, is churned with antics stores, friendly old merchants welcoming you to their shops and vehicle of all sort squeezing between other vehicles, already parked on the sides of the road.

The match-box effect amplifies my mental exhaustion, which Beirut was giving me from the very first visit - it drains me to the core, and it gets me irascible when my ears fill up with outrageous honking cars… Oh my!They got style here.

I loved Assabil from the first moment. Even though it guards the cemetery, it feels very friendly. It kept bearing with me for 2 weeks now. Surrounded by shelves full with books, on a comfy green armchair, wrapped by a complete silence, I get to spend long afternoons into a fine trance work atmosphere. And it’s fine! I’ve been doing fine: from dejection till pumped hopes.

[A note to self - I’m getting old. I remember my grand ma’ asking for silence.]

When I want to take a break, I shift to books. Always had the feeling that reading a good book is like borrowing a superior brain. I Bought 4 more this week. Books.

For stress-free afternoons, funky bookstores are good too – but, according to my definition, it’s too much commerce lately – I don't know why it reminds me of all those top-notch people met in a networking event: they all look the same and say the same things.

Without worrying much about climate changing, I choose libraries, afternoons and Doga. Even when times are hard.

EUGEN DOGA - Ciocarlia
Asculta mai multe audio Muzica »

May 20, 2009


I made a whole list of topics that I want to tackle tomorrow, during The Entrepreneurs Forum (a 2 days seminar initiated by Berytech, and Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum Foundation here, in Lebanon). I also created a pool of questions about how to develop your business idea, how to put first things first and so on… and I was so excited till I got an insight view of the seminar (while doing my homework).

Coming to the main point, I feel that it’s a big hit and miss for me to be here, in this part of the world: the seminars initiatives are oriented towards Arab youth development, towards Arab enterprises and organizations growth, towards Arab world progress. And it makes sense to be this way. It makes sense to them.

… Yes, yes, I do learn from the features of a new culture, I do get valuable ideas and yes, I do have plenty of moments to rethink my thoughts and plans. But that erosive stubbornness of wanting to do something NOW in my OWN country strangles my excitement and my inner drive. How fortunate are these people who are given the stage to speak and act for their own country or region.

But I have reasons and emotions to keep aside for now. What is left is only an Incognito role. (Grabbing what is left after the big feasts must be a stage of initiation).

After 5 years of experience in a global leadership development organization, I ended up living my dream of experiencing an Arab country. But living here, as per its trends and people, made me thirsty of more expertise, of more know-how and more home ownership.

May 18, 2009

Monday Morning Fragment

Today I wanted a home-alone-very-early-morning with a strong, strong cup of coffee. It was only a matter of pushing myself out of the bed before anyone else was awake. My eyes were still glued and my head was utterly dizzy. It was around 7.

I made my bed and turned on the heater. In my tip toes, I sneaked to the kitchen and got my cup of coffee. I went on the balcony. Life was already happening there: the same police cars roving around, the same mix of striking hunks invading the air, the same far-away luring mountains, and the same clumps of people bubbling in the neighborhood.

I took a deep breath of fresh air and checked one more time if the manaish guy opened. A cat, looking as if she had a nightmare, was oddly roaming in front of his store. Not yet. I followed her with my eyes till she took a turn of the garbage trunk. She must have had a blue Sunday.

With an eternal love for mornings, and a U2 track in my mind, I saluted Beirut and went inside to check my mail.

May 16, 2009

It’s Enough to Me.

The blood was rushing backwards through my veins and I was all shaking when I saw the National Lebanese Orchestra entering the stage tonight, at USJ. I was looking curiously to see the group members, as I knew (from a completely random advertisement), that half of them are from Moldova!

When they popped out on the stage, I, nervous as a bride, was screening each one of them from head to toe to spot my nationals. The kind “grand-ma’ eyes” decisively inattentive, little bold forehead filled with tension, white skin face embossing the soft expression features... It wasn'thard to distinguish them at all…

How sweet was to look at them while mastering their instruments: knowing that they speak the same mother language I do, knowing the same inside things I know, maybe valuing same things I believe in and more than this, missing Moldova as much as I miss it…

It was Enough.

Tonight, for almost one hour, I felt that I’m home again. Calling my mom and telling her in one breath the whole story was such a gratifying moment to me… as if I achieved God knows what.

May 11, 2009

City Settings

The amalgam of car hunks and fusion of people’s steps create a sweet comfy trap I love to slant into when I go to bed or when I open my eyes in the morning. The fresh sheets on a huge bed, the breeze coming from the balcony and a bit of Norah Jones… would be too little without this noise.

Somehow it makes me feel secured, tacitly secured.

I love the noise of the city.


I feel that I’m transforming into another person, same as the dude in Kafka’s story… It’s just that in my case it’s a lethargic process, so slow that I can believe in. I feel I’m becoming someone else – someone who has hidden thoughts, subversive wishes and desires for herself and others.


As a kid, I was twice more firm about what I believe in and ‘n times more truthful to myself and others. Now I’m a bunch of rules which I’ve been collecting from others… You obey to what you don’t want to lose and not all the time is what you need (to keep). I have never felt so lost in my own beliefs... but this net is just too tight.

I can hear the Adhan pray. A brand new day, the same old hat. I should get some sleep.

Shortcut To What Really Matters

Because I don’t get often the chance to be with my sister, there is an enormous, permanent call of expressing my gratitude for having her and for remaining my number one BEST Friend throughout the time.

After small sacrifices here and there, I was blessed to have her for 4 days in Lebanon - to celebrate our moments of sisters’ness with laughers, hugs and parallel uneasiness that not so much time is left until we’ll have to say good bye again.

Churned with pure Moldovan accent, our discussions about guys and marriage, university and career, fashion and look… and on top of that… gossiping mom and dad, dogs and cats… refreshed the strong inner bond we’ve always had.

I still feel that I didn’t tell her everything I had to tell… and I don’t know if there will ever be enough time for this. I don't fear life and its tricks until I hug HER.

PS. I got stolen, my guardian.