Pleasure is On The Other Side

... against my structure and my stiffness ...gets me drunk with stupid laughters
while taking me on the top of the world. ... teaches me things I never wanted to learn.
... have no limitations, no restrictions and no "it feels wrong"s.

One more cigarette, one more and one more... and John Legend during my office hours.
Discovering new faces you (in most of the cases) get to know more about yourself. Voila!

La vie est bien...
Elle est de miel !
Quand elle s'acide de dynamite
Qui m'aime me suive!

Where is my "I don't care" face? ... One weird day wallah.

Got a conference in the weekend and 2 sessions to develop, two products to package
and a bit more of confusion to dive into.

Current Assessment aka Who The Hell?

Some of them do, most of them dont...

Then why am I here? Then why do I do what I do? Then why I wake up
every day at 6AM with this passion in my blood working for 12 hours continuously?
What sustains me from inside and what keeps me going?

... therefore today I fail once again, as I gracefully do it since 212 days...
Sometimes what you wish for is not what you should get.

PS. And don't you even dare to be nice with me. Just be yourself, if possible.

"And you asked me what I want this year
and I try to make this kind and clear
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
and designer love and empty things
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.."

Tima Saves the Day

Found this in my mail this morning. Thanks Tima :)

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you where were you...

Not The One I Know

6 months of patience… maybe sometimes you just have to let it out and be less diplomatic. It might work… it might not, but people are weird creatures, thus… they need it – they need to cry, to feel small, to feel stupid or arrogant…

Where did I go wrong? Uff, we all need a cherry tree to be closer to the sky.

PS. Why can’t I say Good Bye? There is no revolution without blood. sa7?!

Agatata De Suportul De Creioane

Scrisoare de La Multi Ani

"La multi ani draghe Limunitz!!!
Tone de imbratisari si pupaturi din Ardeal pe capul tau!!!!!

Si cum stateam eu si cujetam pe tema "Hmmm…e ziua lu' Lumi, frate!!!" mi-au invadat mintea niste flash-back-uri din timpurile mele in AIESEC Sibiu.
- LPM Cj 04: cum zaceam in pat intre tine si Cristinutza – si tin minte cum radeai de se scutura patul J. Merci mult ca ai stat in echipa mea anul aceala J
- Pozele tale de la functinala de OGX primavera 05 – prima ta functionala ca VP, si cum ne tot pregateam noi pana in noapte dinainte included! Merci ca ai lasat ca tranzitie sa fie un lucru usor pt mine :)
- merci ca n-a trebuit sa ma rup in figuri in recrutarea din primavara 05:)
- intalnirea noastra de la IC 07 - CE TARE! @SB RULLLZ
- sosetele tale de lana sub biroul meu de pastile catolice din 05 - la un EB dinner 04/05 + 05/06
- "talputa" in loc de underscore
- pozele tale +Letzu de la graduation ceremony - cu roba cu tot :)
- faptul ca eram in Bazi si Zeno povestea f. impresionat ca te-ai dus la 5 dim sa-ti iei bye bye de la el - pleca in al 2lea CEED in AI
etc.
Nu cred ca mai sunt atat de mandra de nimeni altcineva in @SB cum sunt de tine!!!

Iti dai seama
… ca esti primul om din @SB care a stat 2 ani in MC?
…..ca esti primul om din @SB care a fost MCP? ( si mai este :)
…..Ca esti primul om din @SB care are o sansa reala sa fie Director?
….ca esti printer putinii oameni care chiar au folosit @ ca sa-si indeplineasca un vis – pe care majoritatea il credeau total nebunesc!!!Tu ai vrut sa traiesti intr-o tara araba – si uite ca acolo ai si ajuns :)
Ma laud peste tot in stanga si-n dreapta: succesoarea mea face expansion in @ pe bune: KG si acum Bahrain!!! Succesoarea mea a ajuns acum MCP in Bahrain – nah, ca v-am taiat pe toti :)
...de fapt esti singurul meu om drag din Rp. Moldova - si cand ma gandesc la Moldova, ma gandesc la tine:) Moldova rullzzzzzz: numai fete faine si destepte :)

Si dincolo de toate chestiile @ related- sunt tare mandra ca te-am cunoscut, ca am impartit o pasiune comuna (pt @) – sis per ca o sa tinem legatura si ca o sa ramanem prietene :)
Muaaaaaaaaaah – ce platitudine siropoasa am scapat: dar pe bune acum, din toti omuletzii pe care am avut norocul sa-i intalnesc in @, sunt putini cu care vreau sa tin legatura, si mai putini pe care ii admir. Tu faci parte din amandoua categoriile ( lucru rar la mine :), ca am standard ridicate)

Mai tii minte clama cu floare din KG pe care mi-ai dat-o in 07 la IC – sta inca in fata mea, pe birou, agatata de suportul de creioane :)

O pasarica suedeze mi-a soptit ca esti acasa, in Moldova – daca-mi dai un nr de tel te si sunam – ca ne e mega dor la toti sa-ti auzim glasciorul!!!

Mi-e dor sa te vad si sa te aud!!!!Sper ca viata sa ne nimereasca candva din nou in acelasi oras - sau macar de-o vacanta s-o punem impreuna.

Iritzi."

“Daed uoy tnaw i”

There is no more yesterday to me from now on. There is no tomorrow either. No matter how afraid I am of the day of today, I know that things are over, because I don’t see any light, any hope or chance for us anymore.

Officially, not confused.

Back On Race

... meetings schedule... revised goals and strategies for the second part of term.

Today I'm opening applications for my succesor... and this is the moment when you get back to your 1st two quarters of your term and tend to criticize your work till the deepest, but it's alright - A brand new day is waiting for me!

Good morning world!

Firesafed

Eid Mubarrak... you can hear here and there.. friends, families gatherings - It's the 3rd day of Eid and Bahrain is wearing its holiday cloths - it might be the last Eid I can witness till the end of my term, but who knows what's next?... It might be just a beginning...

I had a "full tank" last evening: having a Pon-Kon chicken at Honk Kong restaurant, cruising around with girls till Muharrak singing (and it's a whole experience when you have Nada in the back and Aqeela driving... love you, girls!!!), saying Good Bye to another dear person and laughing on How I Met Your Mother till 1AM.

With my heart, I'm still there... where u left me last time... an ongoing confusion... How can I decide what's right? Where can you run to escape from yourself? No way to go, but I feel firesafed. Weird.

How To Save My Day

It’s interesting how life works and I have no clues what’s the force behind all these scenarios. And I won’t jump into philosophy or religion trying to explain all that. Besides, without knowing what keeps life going on and more than this - what makes it SO LOGIC is even more fascinating …

When I thought that I’m a lost case, I have learnt about entropy and I met people who’re actually handling the same “boomerangs” I handle. And as simple as that, with the well-known mechanism – we feel automatically better when we find out that there are people who suffer from the same illness as we do and all of a sudden – Bam! Bam! - We become very grateful for what we got!

Just another lesson to remember... I know it works with me - gratitude regenerates my emotions and my inner drive... same as "giving" makes me happy. So, if you see a moody, lazzy and unhappy Lumi one day walking on a street - tell her to "give" a bit from what she got already - It will save my day!

Going Back To Innocence

I’m home... in Moldova.

It’s dark outside. Grapes on my table. Cozy brown sofa and a cup of black Tea. John Lennon and time for blogging. The Sunday will be gone in less than two hours. My parents are out and my sister left to her college city already. I missed this serenity, but somehow it’s not SO patent as before.

Yet, I needed the ice cream brought by mom when coming back from work, I needed the grilled mici made by dad, I needed the early morning laughter with my sister…
Things can be so simple, you’ve told me.

In Moldova... I’m home.

Nasc si la Moldova oameni. Neculce se indoia de neamul asta inca de pe atunci?... cum adica “si la Moldova”??? Sa-mi lamureasca cineva.

When Gucci Doesn't Help

Miles&Smiles... am zis si-am facut.

... my orange juice is healthy, served in a plastic glass with a green, thick straw.
... my coffee is bigger, stronger in a white paper cup...
but tasteless somehow.

... between Europe and Asia...
between yesterday and tomorrow ... somehow I'm lost.

Airport Starbucks Coffee shop relfection... Alone. Very alone.

PS. Pour les connoisseurs.

The Marathon Against Myself.

3 km run in the middle of Gulf's desert are enough to know you're not alone in this world. Glorious 22 mins for my blazed muscles. Together with my friends (95% AIESECers) I ran the marathon on October, 31st ... and we all did it for charity... "It's about the experience... " they kept saying...
I experienced gratitude again - for having people who are taking care of me & for having a healthy body (as healthy it ca be with 2 gym hours/ week and lots of shawormas. ouch.)

A long road back home... is waiting for me. A decaf.

I've Been Here Before.

19 mins since the 1st tic...

... lost, looking around, seeking for someone... and what now?! What is going to happen? A dead echo.

What is after this second? Pause. I hear nothing... I don't get it and don't understand what is happening. I wait for a sign. I want the answer I've been promised I'll get.

But wait, I've been here before!

Or... that's the answer?!... Nimic cu nimic, "pentru ca merit"...

...and tac never came.

NU uita cuvintele.

Lipseste scriptul. Adica.. si cortina?! Sa cada, la naiba! Nu-i clar ca am uitat cuvintele?!
Si iata scena cand ne invinuim parintii pentru ceea ce suntem si plaiul natal - pentru ceea ce nu vom fi nicicand.

Eu nu mai cred in potential. Si nici in vointa. M-am decis. Cred ca fiecare joaca un rol pe care el insusi si-l alege si ceea ce conteaza e abilitatea de a NU uita cuvintele!!! Si daca tie ti-e bine asa - de ce sa fie altfel?

Dar eu nu mai inteleg nimic - nu trebuia sa fie un script pana la urma?...

Ah! si naivitatea - se da degeaba la taraba mea. Daca ochelarii de soare ar putea vorbi si lifturile ar avea urechi - lumea ar fi mai frumoasa si povestile de dragoste mai adevarate. Si din asta cum mai ies acum?


The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world (w)oohoorld

New.

I need to clean my house. I need to throw away the garbage, to bring flowers on my table and to brush away the dust from my old library.

Tonight the world begins again.

Heart Disorders

Whenever my heart twinges me I get back to my mom's lap. I stare at the damn phone and listen Steven Johnson on the Web as a city. So what? Lebanese newspaper writes that Moldovan chix are too hot to stay at home and seee? That's why I'm nowhere.

Because I don't have the guts. Do they sell Guts in a cold store? Umm.. even if they would - US money reached a wrong bank account, therefore not mine.

That's why there are "7th of November" days - to go home and get back to mom's lap .... and this time it won't be just a happy song away.

Ты - не ждешь, но я - вернусь

It has to be like this, thus NO. But look at my people - between two eras they can make it. Why cant I make it? Svetlana Toma is drop dead beautiful and Sofia Rotaru is damn talented.

PS. Only if I could sign an MoU with God.

What Made My Day

Lebanon is preparing the ground for a new war with Israel - a food war - and it is all about hummus

Source: Sky News

PS. This article made my day. New obsession from Amr Diab - Allah La Yehremni Menak.
When enough is enough?!

News Roundup

* In the first day of Eid I remembered how much I enjoy sea side and yes, Bahrain is surrounded by sea. Bahrain Ford. I've seen it with my own eyes, I swear. After 3 months?! Shame on me?! Wait, no, blame the weather.. Wait, wait.. blame the car. Darn. Guilty of charge.

* I cant live in luxurious places. As much as I love the view on the top of a 12 floors building, in Amwaj, I know I can't live in a place where you have all gym facilities, swimming pool, sauna, jacuzzi and all of that sort. I feel guilty for having all that, knowing that 35000 children die every day because of poverty.

* Yey for AIESEC! The most "napolitane la 2 dimineata cu Nadia" organisation ever. I haven't loose my drive and my paternal instinct - my motivation is SO much there! En garde, Leadership Team! Let's build the Kingdom! (pour les connaisseurs).

* I still can tolerate and leave aside my pride to make things work. A door to door conversation which made me cry, smile and felt just awesome - it's called communication and expectations setting for roomies.

* I did not do any sport since I came back from Brazil. Good to me. Was I talking about a financial crisis few posts ago? I'm still into one, but it's all about Bahrain, cool people and a lazy Lumi. Baskin Robbins on a cauch?! No, I do not loose weight when I'm stressed. Just hair.

* The roof became my new cherry tree. I felt ashamed of feeling alone when it wasn't the case at all, but I know that September is the month. ... Sandra knows. Doing an MC term abroad?! or one year long international internship?! You know it too.

* I can't bluff my way out. It's just too awesome. But somehow, it works like this - you give with one hand and take with the other one. A perfect equilibrium. My face still doesn't go red and I don't stammer - because I do not lie. Forbidding me to wear skirts and shorts does not make me more appreciated and respected. Lumi's expiration date: 4th of November.

* Praying seems like something I don't know to do anymore, sort of a one sided conversation in which I give up after one minute. But why?! I badly have to go to church.

Windy times, mingled hair, flowers on my dress and no make up!